so i slept him.
there. its out there.
i crossed that invisible line.
and the funny thing is
i don't care how it'll make my boyfriend see if
if he ever finds out
god, let him never find out
god, let him find out.
no,
i was most worried about
how the other one would see me
when he came back
and i told him
because i had to tell him.
its funny, now,
because it made him open his eyes to me.
i wonder, if i hadnt,
would he have been able to see me,
all grown up and ready for life?
he loves me. he said so.
i love him too.
i love him i love him i love him
i would drop everything
move to newyork
if only he'd ask me.

im all grown up
in the half year since he saw me last
my hairs grown out
my smiles grown wide.
he looks at me the same as he always did,
with only a touch of something different.

i call this fate.

i call this unfair, that he has to leave me again.
and again
and again.

little bird