Notes on a Bird

I can't really understand why people
CERTAIN PEOPLE
just have this need
to get up and go.
I
am one of those people.
And I'm an extestentialist.
But I refuse to look at my choices as choices made in bad faith
(yay philosophy class for actually TEACHING me something about myself!)
I never look to myself and say
well it's up to you to fix it little bird. you got yourself here. how are you gonna get us out?
It's something I should work on.
Why do I skip classes?, for example
First order desire.
I DON'T THINK THINGS THROUGH.
And that gets me in a shit load of trouble.
I move too fast. I don't organize my desires and my beliefs.
Dear world, this just in,
I have no idea what I'm doing.
Although I project the image that I do.
Although I pretend and lie to myself
that I do.
And I have no idea how to make a permenant change.
But I know I need to start.
And that's the first step.

That's all for whats on my mind today guys.